Dear Mr. Affleck. Please pick the right cast for your remake of The Stand.

Note to my fellow bloggers/friends/Stephen King fans: Ok. This is just my letter to Ben Affleck who has signed on to direct The Stand. I am a humble fan who doesn't know all of the fantastic actors in Hollywood, so my picks for the characters in Stephen King's The Stand may seem horrendous to you. If they are terrible choices, tell me why (nicely). Do not throw the book at me. However, if you do throw the book at me, please only throw the edited pre-1990 version which is about 400 pages less and won't hurt as much. Thank you.

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Dear Mr. Affleck,

Kudos to you for taking the reins on remaking The Stand. If you do this right, you could make this Academy-award worthy, knowwhatimsayin? I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, though, because after all, you will have a legion of Stephen King and The Stand fans who will question your eh-ve-ry move. You will have to tread lightly and not kill key moments and also make sure all the special effects are fantastic without allowing them to be crazy over-the-top cheesiness (*coughcoughArmageddoncough*)

Picking the right cast, the dream team, is key. It's a story requiring an ensemble, a crucial conglomeration of a gazillion different Hollywood personalities that you'll have to logistically contend with/manage. Blah. I can't even imagine having to deal with the divas and divos and their attitudes. Ick.

But it's so important to pick the right people. Even I am terrified of posting into the public forums my "dream team" cast for this epic story. I'm certain there are a few picks below that I may need to duck as insults and outrage are hurled at me. So be it. And just as a side note, I realize that the 1994 TV version selected a lot of older actors for crucial roles, but I've chosen younger actors and actresses since I always thought all of the characters were in their twenties or so, with the exception of a few.

But, before we go on, sir, just a few things to make note of:

1. Music. Don't forget about the music. Please. The TV version was aight and all but it was so melodramatic because there was music in almost every flippin' scene.
2. Stephen King Gets in the Way of a Good Story. What? Whaddidshesay? There. I said it. I think King is brilliant and created stories and characters that will never be forgotten. He's a genius. Songs will be written about him one day. But. BUT. Don't let him write the screenplay or produce it! As a King fan, I think he's so close to his stories that he can't get out of his own way and the end movie result is never, ever good. He might strongarm you into doing what he wants because he's the master of horror, for cryin' out loud. You're from Boston, so I'm sure you probably have a high respect for the man and don't want to tick him off. But just remember that when he gets his hands really dirty and writes the teleplay or produces it, unfortunately, it usually isn't that fabulous. Stick to your guns and make the film the way you know it will work.
3. One Film? Or Two? Three? You're going to enrage fans if you put this epic story into just one movie. It's a book with so many important characters and events that if you skinny this baby down to 100 minutes, an overwhelming amount of internet-angst will be unloaded from fans who will point out every.single.thing.you.cut. You don't want that. Split it into at least two films. (Money!) 

Ok. So below are my picks for the cast of The Stand. (Fellow bloggers/readers: Let me know what you think in the comments, but please do not yell at me!) Disclaimer: Obviously, none of these pictures are mine, however I've included the link to the site. Email me if I need to remove the picture or if I have the wrong link.

Mother Abagail: Cicely Tyson

I love Cicely Tyson and think she could be incredible, although part of me was also wondering about Alfre Woodard, since she's amazing as well. Ultimately, I had to go with Cicely Tyson because I think she really embodies the role of Mother Abagail and I think Cicely Tyson could be magical. [Photo]

Randall Flagg: Viggo Mortensen

I can't think of anyone else who could play the hardcase, the Walkin Dude any better. He can pull off the right combination of creepy and sexy, from gentle to frightening (Isn't this a scary picture?). [Photo]

Stu Redman: Ryan Gosling
Stu has to be someone the audience immediately is drawn to, someone easily likable and trustworty. (I tried to pick a very Stu-like picture. East Texas, y'all. Has to be good-looking and self-assured.) [Photo B/W]

Frannie Goldsmith: Maggie Gyllenhaal
If anyone could make me actually like the character of Frannie, and even believe someone as awesome as Stu could love her, and at the same time be so appealing that Harold would also fall madly in love with her, it would be Maggie Gyllenhaal. This actress is equal parts quirky, innocent, and sexy. She could do this role in her sleep. [Photo]

Harold Lauder: Jesse Eisenberg
From Social Network fame as the Facebook founder, Jesse Eisenberg has the youthful look necessary for the character, and could believably evolve into the brooding Harold. Harold, the untrustworthy, and possibly dangerous member of the Free Zone, the one that makes yer skin crawl and all. I think this actor could easily transform from heavyset and pimply Harold Lauder, into the later Harold/Hawk who is still confused, but slimmer. [Photo B/W]

Larry Underwood: Zac Efron
Oh, boy. I know I'm going to get yelled at on this one. Larry is one of the most important characters and I want this guy to do it? Yes. He's all grown up now, folks. (He cut that silly shaggy haircut, too.) You know Zac Efron can sing "Baby, Can You Dig Your Man?" and we also know he's a pretty doggone good actor no matter what the script gives him, so why not? I think he could do this character well. [Photo B/W]

Lucy: Zoe Saldana
Known for her stellar performance in the movie Avatar, Zoe Saldana would change it up considerably. She's got to have such a different look than Nadine Cross and while she is a little older than Zac Efron, I think there would be awesome chemistry between them. She is so incredibly unique and beautiful and has to hold her own against the incomparable Nadine. The audience has to feel and see that difference without question. The character of Lucy was thoroughly under-appreciated in the TV movie and I hope that Ben Affleck will remember that Lucy is such an important character in keeping Larry on the good side. [Photo B/W]

Nadine Cross: Marion Cottilard
This beautiful French actress would knock it out of the park. There are rumors Ben Affleck is considering Jennifer Lopez for the role and that his wife, Jennifer Garner, is understandably annoyed. I hope he doesn't pick J. Lo, much as I like her, because I just don't see her in this role at all. I want someone different and think Marion Cottilard would be great. She's got the right amount of exotic sex appeal to carry off the naive, hesitant, and ultimately led astray character perfectly and who doesn't love her accent? [Photo B/W]

Joe/Leo: Griffin Gluck
Not sure if this character would make the big screen version, or even get much screen time if he does. If so, I think this kid is perfect for the role. Many may remember him in the movie Just Go With It with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. He's also been on the TV show Private Practice as Cooper's son.  [Photo]

Nick Andros: Joseph Gordon-Leavitt
He killed it in the movie Inception, clearly holding his own against megastar power Leonardo DiCaprio. The tough role of a young man who can't hear or talk, Nick Andros is one of the most important players in the group of the good guys, and I can see this actor represent him with such heartfelt attention to detail. The character is tough to translate to the big screen, and I don't think they fleshed out the importance of the role in the TV version, so Rob Lowe was kept pretty much in the background. Joseph Gordon-Leavitt could make it happen, without a doubt. One stipulation I'd request: Please don't kick out Nick's teeth or have his eye gouged! That's one change that the TV version did right. [Photo B/W]

Tom Cullen: Philip Seymour Hoffman
I love the character of Tom Cullen so much that I am absolutely frightened for anyone else to play him. I think only this actor can do the character justice, a character who is so important to the ultimate stand. [Photo B/W]

Glen Bateman: Denzel Washington
Curve ball, huh? How awesome is this actor? Denzel Washington could play any character on the planet and rock it. He would be completely believable as the amiable, yet tough, sociology professor who helps in the overall creation of the Free Zone, and who also understands how society falls apart and then recreates. [Photo B/W]

Ralph Brentner: Josh Lucas
You may recall Josh Lucas in a flurry of smaller films, but most know this actor from his role starring opposite Reese Witherspoon in the romantic comedy Sweet Home Alabama. I can see him as the Midwest farmer walking across the country with Stu, Larry, and Glen.
[Photo]

Traschcan Man: Daniel Radcliffe.
Wait, wait, wait. Before you get all you-can't-mess-with-Harry-Potter on me, hear me out.  Yes. I think Daniel Radcliffe is a talented acter and could completely go out of character from the good wizard into the insane and burn-ravaged man. Stephen King mentioned that Billy Bob Thornton would be a good choice for this role, but I never thought Trashy was an older character. In my mind's eye, I envisioned the tormented character as a pretty young guy so I think Daniel Radcliffe would be fantastic. It would be such a CRAZY choice but can't you see him screaming, "My life for you!!!!" [Photo]

Lloyd Henreid: Ed Norton
I love the idea of Ed Norton as Poke's criminal sidekick who frighteningly evolves into the smart and confident second-in-command to Randall Flagg. Yes. Ed Norton would be perfect. [Photo B/W]

Judge Farris: Ken Watanabe
Yet another curve ball! And I really like this one. This cool dude is best known as starring opposite of Tom Cruise in the epic fierceness of The Last Samurai. He would be incredible as the soft-spoken and thoughtful, wise judge. Plus, we allllll know he can kick butt. [Photo B/W]

Dayna: Rosario Dawson
As one tough cookie in Sin City, one of my all-time favorite movies, not only can Rosario Dawson exhibit dignified strength (she has to be waaaay tough), she can also easily reflect that softness which will be irresistible to anyone in Flagg's camp. [Photo]

Rita Blakemoor: Glenn Close
Yeah, this character probably won't make the remake, but if so, wouldn't Glenn Close be outstanding? She's over 60, perfect age for the role, and has that sex appeal. [Photo]

And you know that guy who works for the government and comes in at the beginning to try and kill Stu in the facility in Stovington? I thought it would be a pretty cool cameo to have Matt Damon, a la Bourne salute, to be that dude. [Photo]

My sweet Roma is not a Pit Bull, 
but will happily accept the role of Kojak.
This picture is from my sister, www.digitalgraces.com

Kojak: Any Pit Bull
We have an opportunity here. Why not pick a dog who could help represent the opposite of what everyone thinks "dogs like that" are? It would be fantastic to have a dog that could be the "poster child" representative of ending the horrendous "Breed Specific Legislation" nonsense, which innocent Lennox was fatally punished for. The character of Kojak is a sweet and smart good dog and it would be nice to have a pit bull represented in a film of this magnitude who is not evil. It's time to break stereotypes, people! My dog is not a pit bull (she's a Vizsla), but people always think she is, so I'll include Roma the Dog as an example.






So, Mr. Affleck. While my letter is long and you'll probably never read this, I hope you get my drift on how important this movie is. I do envision a disgustingly high budget that will put Titanic to shame, but if you do it right, you will end up like James Cameron and make so much money you never have to do anything again except make random documentaries and wallpaper your house with cash. So with that, I wish you Godspeed and good luck to you, sir!

Sincerely,
Natalie ~ the Coffee and a Book Chick

P.S. I read The Stand to participate in Trish's #standalong and also read this for my own project at The Stephen King Project, which I host with Kathleen from Boarding In My Forties.